Mixed Feelings

Last weekend I just watched a very inspiring movie, Into The Wild. The story was about Alex, a young man who left his normal life -family and collage- looking for a truly happiness, I guess. I watched it on the Fox Movies channel while the movie already playing about an hour anyway. There is a plot of this story back to the past. He used to called Chris when his parents had a big fight in the house. I thought he just can't resist that kind of condition so he decided to escape. He left his home and there's a part he said he'll go to Alaska. Sounds crazy, right?

With full of curiousity, I kept watching this movie.

Alex -or maybe Chris in the past- met many people on the way he went to Alaska. He wrote his journey in a book. He met a guy who love to read a book and gave him some books about live in the wild. He also met an old man who never want to explore the world more because of personal excuse. Many people want to help him to go to Alaska but Alex prefer to took a job so he can save some money for his journey. He was so independent and smart so unwittingly had inspiring many people he met.

The climax of the story was when Alex really trapped in the wild on the way he went to Alaska. No animals to be hunted, ate the wrong plants in the forest, starving, and money was not worth at all. At first he thought he could handle it, but he's not that strong. In the weakest condition, he kept wrote his note in the book. Suddenly, the plot back to the past again. Yeah, Alex remembered some happy memories about his family, friends, and many people he met. He smiled, but tears fell down to his cheeks too. I wonder if he just regret about his decision to left home that made him trapped in the wild or it's a tears of joy that he finally know about a trupy happiness although he hadn't reach Alaska. The last scene of this movie had aswered my curiousity when in the weakest condition, he tried to write the last sentence before he left this world forever, 

"Happiness only real when shared."

Mixed feelings.

The fact, it is a true story and there was a real Alex! The story was addapted from his note when he found  died in the wild. I was stared at the TV although it already showed the credit title. Seriously, it's such a big regret if I were Alex :( Why a smart and independent young man who had inspiring many people had to left this world alone in the wild? :( It's a very sad ending although finally he found the meaning of a truly happiness.

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Sorry I really took it personal, imagine if I were Alex or some people who had inspired by him.

But the last quote from Alex really blow my mind. So I posted it in my social media LOL.

So much blow my mindddd. 

~my confession~

I have missed this site, this little diary. Many things I wanna share, include the ups and downs I've been trough since my latest post. But Snapchat and Instagram make it simpler for me to immediately share it at the moment.

Anyway, college life is amazing. I'm so grateful to be able passed this semester! I met so many people with different personalities. It makes me have to adjust my self. Behave, Emma! I have to act wisely, manage every single word I said with full of responsibilty in the scientific forum or organization meeting. But sometimes, I still act like a childish kid, careless, forget like next year my age would be 20! I got many advices from people around me for my better life in future :'' They also taught me many soft skills we don't learn in the class. That fact makes me understand, that the real life after I graduated will be so much harder.

In my previous post, I tell you several of my hectic activities in the 4th semester; First is the practicum and the practicum report which had been spent a haf of my 24 hour everday. I know this is very important for my grade point. Alhamdulillah the result is better than the previous semester. The second is microbiology lab assistant. Alhamdulillah this job has done and we're waiting for the salary :D. The third is English Course. Yeah, I have done my english course until the highest level in the intermediet part. After this I will take the conversation class. I just can't believe that have passed them. Alhamdulillah.

Andd the last but not least, the fourth is PKM FTP CERIA :D

:D
Alhamdulillah. Our project has won the gold medal for presentation! Everytime I remember this moment, I remember how hard this team blend each other in the first meeting, then we got some obstacles from our lectures, technicians, and from ourself too (especially me :( *sad). Altough it's difficult at first, alhamdulillah, Allah always heard our prayer and answered it in the right time after we give the best we can did. :)

I'm so grateful. I believe the Quran says, "We impose on no self any more than it can bear" (Al A'raf: 42). Alhamdulillah. Thank you, Allah. You give me strength and your mercy to get through all of ups and downs until today. Alhamdulillahirobbilalamiin.

Now, what? When I got my "me time" in my room, sometimes I feel worry about myself in the next 2 until 5 year. What am I going to be? What will I do to make my parents proud of me? I wonder if all I did was bring me to my true destination.

So, I start it with Bismillahirrohmanirrohiim. Let's make another life goals which will bring us to the true destination :) And I will do the best for the next semester!

Welcome September! Welcome 5th Semester!

The Real Happiness Is...

Welcome May!

OMG it's almost a half year of 2016 ! Time flies so  fast it's like yesterday was still January 1st. Yeah, if you agreed with that statement, means you were enjoyed your days so much. Although it's a good or bad days, you still be grateful from what you have learned from that. One of many lessons I've learned until almost a half year of 2016 is about the real happiness. Yeah, I want to share my thinking about happiness.

Based on the duration, we can devided happiness into 2 big groups: the short term happiness and the long term happiness. So, which one is the real happiness?

are you happy?

Some people are easy to find the short term happiness but the others look for the long term happiness. Well, when someone says they are happy they mean they are satisfied with their life and that they are experiencing a preponderance of ‘pleasant’ emotions, such as contentment, pleasure, joy, enthusiasm and delight (and relatively few ‘unpleasant’ emotions). I call this type of happiness as ‘normal’ happiness. This could be long term happiness but also give short term effect too because the happiness will be decerased by the time.

It is very much connected to what is going on in your life. If your relationships are going well, you have good score at college, great time management, full saved in the bank, your health is good and you are successful at what you do, the chances are you will experience normal happiness. 

The clue that define you are happy is conditional upon certain things being the way you want them to be. If you are made redundant unexpectedly or your friend is upset with you and your sense of happiness and well-being disappears, you know that the happiness you were experiencing was normal. Usually, when we focus and want to get something instantly, it will be the short term happiness we get. It's like when you want to get promotion from your boss then you cheat means it won't be last longer. Or when you pursue your dreams seriously but you're neglecting your health and your relationship to your parents.... Will it be the real happiness when you can get those dreams?

the happiness outside us

One I finally realized everything which we usually define as happiness is always outside of us. And that's not last longer.

On the other hand, the real happiness is different with ‘normal’ happiness. The real happiness describes a deep sense of inner well-being, peace and vitality with you most of the time in most circumstances. People who experience real happiness, feel a deep sense of gratitude for simply being alive. Unlike normal happiness which comes and goes and is dependent on certain things happening, real happiness is independent of our life situation. This doesn’t mean you don’t feel anger, or sadness or fear. The real happy people have the ability to feel those emotions deeply and fully, but they don’t lose sight of themselves as they do, they remain aware and present to their thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them.

But, is experiencing true happiness simply a case of changing our thoughts, being kind and living mindfully as some experts suggest? My experience is this – they are all important and all have a part to play, but alone they simply aren’t enough to experience the real happiness. 

my real happiness

Anyway, let me know if this post makes you happy or not. Feel free to share you comments. Cheers!