Mixed Feelings

Last weekend I just watched a very inspiring movie, Into The Wild. The story was about Alex, a young man who left his normal life -family and collage- looking for a truly happiness, I guess. I watched it on the Fox Movies channel while the movie already playing about an hour anyway. There is a plot of this story back to the past. He used to called Chris when his parents had a big fight in the house. I thought he just can't resist that kind of condition so he decided to escape. He left his home and there's a part he said he'll go to Alaska. Sounds crazy, right?

With full of curiousity, I kept watching this movie.

Alex -or maybe Chris in the past- met many people on the way he went to Alaska. He wrote his journey in a book. He met a guy who love to read a book and gave him some books about live in the wild. He also met an old man who never want to explore the world more because of personal excuse. Many people want to help him to go to Alaska but Alex prefer to took a job so he can save some money for his journey. He was so independent and smart so unwittingly had inspiring many people he met.

The climax of the story was when Alex really trapped in the wild on the way he went to Alaska. No animals to be hunted, ate the wrong plants in the forest, starving, and money was not worth at all. At first he thought he could handle it, but he's not that strong. In the weakest condition, he kept wrote his note in the book. Suddenly, the plot back to the past again. Yeah, Alex remembered some happy memories about his family, friends, and many people he met. He smiled, but tears fell down to his cheeks too. I wonder if he just regret about his decision to left home that made him trapped in the wild or it's a tears of joy that he finally know about a trupy happiness although he hadn't reach Alaska. The last scene of this movie had aswered my curiousity when in the weakest condition, he tried to write the last sentence before he left this world forever, 

"Happiness only real when shared."

Mixed feelings.

The fact, it is a true story and there was a real Alex! The story was addapted from his note when he found  died in the wild. I was stared at the TV although it already showed the credit title. Seriously, it's such a big regret if I were Alex :( Why a smart and independent young man who had inspiring many people had to left this world alone in the wild? :( It's a very sad ending although finally he found the meaning of a truly happiness.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sorry I really took it personal, imagine if I were Alex or some people who had inspired by him.

But the last quote from Alex really blow my mind. So I posted it in my social media LOL.

So much blow my mindddd. 

~my confession~

I have missed this site, this little diary. Many things I wanna share, include the ups and downs I've been trough since my latest post. But Snapchat and Instagram make it simpler for me to immediately share it at the moment.

Anyway, college life is amazing. I'm so grateful to be able passed this semester! I met so many people with different personalities. It makes me have to adjust my self. Behave, Emma! I have to act wisely, manage every single word I said with full of responsibilty in the scientific forum or organization meeting. But sometimes, I still act like a childish kid, careless, forget like next year my age would be 20! I got many advices from people around me for my better life in future :'' They also taught me many soft skills we don't learn in the class. That fact makes me understand, that the real life after I graduated will be so much harder.

In my previous post, I tell you several of my hectic activities in the 4th semester; First is the practicum and the practicum report which had been spent a haf of my 24 hour everday. I know this is very important for my grade point. Alhamdulillah the result is better than the previous semester. The second is microbiology lab assistant. Alhamdulillah this job has done and we're waiting for the salary :D. The third is English Course. Yeah, I have done my english course until the highest level in the intermediet part. After this I will take the conversation class. I just can't believe that have passed them. Alhamdulillah.

Andd the last but not least, the fourth is PKM FTP CERIA :D

:D
Alhamdulillah. Our project has won the gold medal for presentation! Everytime I remember this moment, I remember how hard this team blend each other in the first meeting, then we got some obstacles from our lectures, technicians, and from ourself too (especially me :( *sad). Altough it's difficult at first, alhamdulillah, Allah always heard our prayer and answered it in the right time after we give the best we can did. :)

I'm so grateful. I believe the Quran says, "We impose on no self any more than it can bear" (Al A'raf: 42). Alhamdulillah. Thank you, Allah. You give me strength and your mercy to get through all of ups and downs until today. Alhamdulillahirobbilalamiin.

Now, what? When I got my "me time" in my room, sometimes I feel worry about myself in the next 2 until 5 year. What am I going to be? What will I do to make my parents proud of me? I wonder if all I did was bring me to my true destination.

So, I start it with Bismillahirrohmanirrohiim. Let's make another life goals which will bring us to the true destination :) And I will do the best for the next semester!

Welcome September! Welcome 5th Semester!

The Real Happiness Is...

Welcome May!

OMG it's almost a half year of 2016 ! Time flies so  fast it's like yesterday was still January 1st. Yeah, if you agreed with that statement, means you were enjoyed your days so much. Although it's a good or bad days, you still be grateful from what you have learned from that. One of many lessons I've learned until almost a half year of 2016 is about the real happiness. Yeah, I want to share my thinking about happiness.

Based on the duration, we can devided happiness into 2 big groups: the short term happiness and the long term happiness. So, which one is the real happiness?

are you happy?

Some people are easy to find the short term happiness but the others look for the long term happiness. Well, when someone says they are happy they mean they are satisfied with their life and that they are experiencing a preponderance of ‘pleasant’ emotions, such as contentment, pleasure, joy, enthusiasm and delight (and relatively few ‘unpleasant’ emotions). I call this type of happiness as ‘normal’ happiness. This could be long term happiness but also give short term effect too because the happiness will be decerased by the time.

It is very much connected to what is going on in your life. If your relationships are going well, you have good score at college, great time management, full saved in the bank, your health is good and you are successful at what you do, the chances are you will experience normal happiness. 

The clue that define you are happy is conditional upon certain things being the way you want them to be. If you are made redundant unexpectedly or your friend is upset with you and your sense of happiness and well-being disappears, you know that the happiness you were experiencing was normal. Usually, when we focus and want to get something instantly, it will be the short term happiness we get. It's like when you want to get promotion from your boss then you cheat means it won't be last longer. Or when you pursue your dreams seriously but you're neglecting your health and your relationship to your parents.... Will it be the real happiness when you can get those dreams?

the happiness outside us

One I finally realized everything which we usually define as happiness is always outside of us. And that's not last longer.

On the other hand, the real happiness is different with ‘normal’ happiness. The real happiness describes a deep sense of inner well-being, peace and vitality with you most of the time in most circumstances. People who experience real happiness, feel a deep sense of gratitude for simply being alive. Unlike normal happiness which comes and goes and is dependent on certain things happening, real happiness is independent of our life situation. This doesn’t mean you don’t feel anger, or sadness or fear. The real happy people have the ability to feel those emotions deeply and fully, but they don’t lose sight of themselves as they do, they remain aware and present to their thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them.

But, is experiencing true happiness simply a case of changing our thoughts, being kind and living mindfully as some experts suggest? My experience is this – they are all important and all have a part to play, but alone they simply aren’t enough to experience the real happiness. 

my real happiness

Anyway, let me know if this post makes you happy or not. Feel free to share you comments. Cheers!

In The Middle of Mid-Test Week Post

Helloo everybody!

Finally I have time for my side pleasure, blogging! Feel so glad to know that I'm still survive until now :'. Yeah, welcome April! I just realized my last post was on February and there's no post on March. Maybe some of you wonder what I have been doing lately after my last post which is really hectic month for me. And I want to make some review of my latest activities since my last post on February. Check this out!!

1. Practicum and The Practicum Report

Yeah, the real 4th semester has just begun. I have to handle Food Processing Technology practicum and Biochemistry & Food Analysis practicum. FYI, practicum is fun and I really enjoy it, but not for the report we have to submit after the practicum. 

There are several reasons why I hate the practicum report. Most of them because it's tiring! Yeah, the report is not only contain the practicum results data, it also contains the procedure which has to be very detail from the preparation until result plus the equipment functions and the treatment functions. For  example, you have to explain in the procedure why you have to put the petri dish into oven for 1 hour. Why not 30 minutes? Yeah, you have to explain the treatment function. So tiring, isn't it? You also have many questions to answer based on the literature. There's also discuss the data section which you have to discuss. Usually not only our grup's data, but also from the other group. Can you imagine that? We have to discuss about data which we haven't done and compare it with the literatures. That's why usually the practicum report for one material is really thick. Really tiring, right?

2. Microbiology Lab Assistant

As I wrote before on my last post, I accepted as Microbiology Lab Assistant. I'm so grateful and proud of this chance. I learn so much from this job. Most of my free time I spent in the Microbiology Lab which lack of connection :(. After class usually I was scheduled to be a lab assistant. I enjoy it because I can spent my free time for useful things and earn too teehee

3. English Course

Actually this is really fun thing which makes me can release the stress from my activities. I also can improve my English, meet new friends, have discussion in English with people in different background. Everything is fun and relaxing. But, sometimes, my course schedule crashed with the replacement schedule from my lecture which makes me should choose the replacement class from the lecture and miss one meeting in the course :(. I want to change my course schedule so I can get both of them but now this kind condition has taught me the meaning of "Life is a Choice" :)

4. PKM FTP CERIA

This is the name of my PKM group on LINE. PKM a.k.a. Program Kreativitas Mahasiswa. It is really prestige competition in my faculty because if we're invited to PIMNAS (the final of PKM) we will be free from the thesis. So, in the middle of bustles above, I have to do this state madate. Like I wrote before on my last post, my PKM has funded by DIKTI alhamdulillah. We get 7 million actually but still 3 million we got. We have to maintain this 3 million so it won't deficit. Later I will tell you about the my PKM. Hopefully our team can solve the obstacles in front of us so we realize the proposal, invited to PIMNAS, and the main goal reached. Aamiin. 

Well I learn so much from those activities. It makes me read more books, curious more, and trying to push myself more. There's a quote that really affects me: If you fail to plan, you will plan to fail. So, I make list of my goals and achievements I have to get with details how to realize them. I hope everything is going well include my mid semester test too. Yeah, the whole activities above are postponed for a while in the middle semester test week. So, I have to focus now in my mid-semester test and hopefully the result will be perfectly "A" . Aamiin :))  

Anyway, that's all the activities I have been doing lately until now. I hope you enjoy my kind of diary post. See you!

I'M ON FIRE

Rasanya ingin ke pantai yang sepi lalu teriak sekencang - kencangnya.

Campur aduk.

Ya, semester 4 telah dimulai. Target di semester ini tentunya ingin belajar manajemen waktu yang lebih baik dan mengakhiri semester ini dengan IP 4 bulat. Yeah, semseter 4, IP 4 ! Aamiin yarabb.

Dari sebelum masuk kuliah, bahkan sudah merencanakan ingin mengambil mata kuliah apa saja untuk semester 4 dan beberapa semester selanjutnya. Meskipun ditakutin dengan tidak bisa lulus 3,5 tahun. Tapi bismillah I will success in my own way. On fire bangetlah pokoknya.

Namun, semangat on fire ku ini rasanya benar - benar diuji. Sebenarnya keputusan yang berat untuk hanya mengambil 21 SKS padahal bisa ambil 24 SKS. Tujuannya cuma satu, memenuhi ekspektasi kedua orang tua terhadap putri sulungnya ini. Cuma pengen naikin IP biar orang tua -setidaknya- ngga sedih. Hahaha.

Meski hanya 21 SKS, aku mengisi waktu luangku dengan melanjutkan les Bahasa Inggris soalnya sayang banget kalau ngga diasah terus menerus bisa menurunkan kemampuan. Sementara my big goal is travelling around the world so it is a must!

First I think, I still can handle it.

Selain skill bahasa, aku mencoba merealisasikan targetku selanjutnya untuk lebih kompeten di laboratorium dengan daftar Asisten Praktikum Mikrobiologi Umum. Daftar, screening, dan ternyata keterima. Alhamdulillah tapi sebenernya baru sadar bakal semakin banyak amanahnya. Astaghfirullah.

Bersamaan dengan semua itu, dapet kabar kalau PKM KC tim ku lolos pendanaan and it's another amanah. Kami harus memanfaatkan dana hibah dari DIKTI tersebut agar bisa merealisasikan alatnya, insya Allah. Alhamdulillah. Astaghfirullah.

Selama 2 hari ini jadi bener - bener istighfar terus. Sebenarnya aku pantas ngga sih mendapatkan berbagai macam amanah seperti ini?

Alhamdulillah sebenarnya aku bersyukur banget mendapatkan banyak kesempatan untuk mengisi kegiatan luang sebagai mahasiswa dengan hal - hal positif dan bermanfaat. Bayangkan bagaimana bingungnya pengangguran cari pekerjaan? Pasti rasanya langsung bersyukur sekali diberi banyak kesempatan yang menghasilkan.

Tetapi rasanya juga ingin istighfar berkali - kali. Sebenarnya apa yang akan direncanakan oleh Sang Maha Penguasa semesta dibalik semua karunia yang Dia berikan? Aku percaya bahwa semua yang telah ditetapkanNya adalah yang terbaik untuk hambaNya. Namun, sebagai hamba yang lemah dan tak berdaya tanpa kuasaNya, aku tentunya harus sadar diri. Pantes ngga sih aku mendapatkan banyak karunia dariNya sementara ibadahku masih kurang.

Rasanya seperti ditegur keras. Layaknya ditampar di pipi berkali - kali supaya sadar. Allah yang sudah demikian baik memberimu banyak hal namun tidak membuatmu tergerak memperbaiki ibadamu? Mencoba sedikit saja lebih dekat denganNya? Astaghfirullahaladziim.

Bismillah akan mecoba yang terbaik, selanjutnya semua diserahkan lagi kepada Allah.

Officially 19 !

Hello guys!

I'm sorry because I've been so busy doing my things for a couple weeks when people spent the holiday. Yeah, but this is the way I spent my holiday before 4th semester begin.

how dare you!!!

I am a mess

There was a water balloons war at Lapangan Rektorat a day after my birthday. Actually, we (Timses Rektor Cup) were going to take some photos together after Upgrading Kontingen Rektor Cup. I was distracted by Dite at first. We were chatting as usual unknowingly when the first water balloon suddenly hit me!

I screamed.

Bertemu Dosen Pembimbing Akademik

Assalamualaikum, selamat malam.

Papa. Waktu muda.

Jujur, sebenarnya sangat ingin menghindarkan blog ini dari curhatan aneh yang isinya ngomongin orang terus ngga ada manfaatnya. Entah ini termasuk postingan yang seperti itu atau justru malah bisa mengambil hikmahnya. Ya, ini adalah kejadian yang masih anget banget baru tadi abis Isya'. Dan setelah mengalami kejadian ini salah satu perasaan yang terbersit disamping marah, malu, kesal, terharu... adalah HARUS DI TULIS DI BLOG.

Yeah. I did.

Hari ini rasanya panjang banget. Dari sekian banyak agenda yang aku tuliskan khusus untuk hari ini, salah satunya adalah meminta tanda tangan dosen pembimbing akademik yang biasa dipanggil Papa sama mahasiswanya. Ya, untuk menjaga privasinya, sebut saja Papa.

5 Tips Belanja Bulanan di Giant dan Supermarket Lainnya

Hai hai semua. Selamat tanggal tua :)

Sebagai calon sarjana teknologi pangan, selain mengamati kandungan bahan di komposisi produk, saya juga suka ngamatin harganya. Nah, Giant adalah salah satu supermarket yang doyan banget saya kunjungi buat belanja bulanan atau sekedar lihat - lihat. Masih dalam suasana liburan menuju semester 4 yang lebih baik *asik* , kali ini jadi terinpirasi buat berbagi tentang tips - tips belanja di Giant agar perputaran uang di dompet tetep lancar.

Sebenernya juga tips ini juga aplikatif buat belanja di super market lainnya, sih, misal Carefour, Hypermart, Superindo... bahkan hingga Indomaret dan Alfamart. Haha kenapa jadi semua nama supermarket ada di sini wkwkwwk. 

Okaay, check this out!

Life is a Choice

Hidup itu pilihan.

Waduh malem - malem topiknya berat, ya, haha.

Cuma pengen melepaskan kegalauan, kok. Makanya pengen posting ini. Semoga bisa menemukan solusi, ya, di akhir postingan ini.

Memasuki semester 4 di THP FTP UB. Sempet mengalami sindrom 'sebenernya aku ngapain, sih? apa yang aku cari?' gitu. Sumpek, suntuk, penat, galau, cemas, campur aduk jadi satu. Sebenernya sadar, sih, kalau ini yang namanya berproses. Sudah mahasiswa, kan? Mungkin Sang Sutradara Kehidupan sedang membuat skenarioNya semakin menarik, apakah si tokoh ini dapat melaluinya dengan baik, atau justru mundur teratur....

Hmm, galau.

Kenapa kalo inget kuliah jadi suntuk sendiri dan terasa perjalanannya masih sangat panjang, ya?

Ibarat pohon faktor, untuk mendapatkan bilangan prima, memang harus dibagi dengan angka penyebut yang sesuai. Emang, sih, mencari bilangan prima menggunakan pohon faktor itu panjang banget dan melelahkan. Harus dibagi dengan banyak banget angka penyebut sampai akhirnya ketemu bilangan yang sudah tidak bisa dibagi lagi alias bilangan prima.

SEMAKIN BESAR NILAINYA, POHON FAKTOR MAKIN PANJANG, KAN?

Mungkin, kita adalah bilangan yang nilainya sangat besar dan sedang berproses dengan dibagi oleh banyak macam angka penyebut untuk mendapatkan satu tujuan, yakni bilangan prima.

Pengalaman Naik Gunung Panderman

Hellooww fellas!

Hari ini mau throwback dikit, ya, ke tahun 2015. Banyak banget kegiatan yang aku lakukan di 2015 yang istilahnya 'for the first time' gitu laah dan lebih banyak cuma di post di media sosial kayak IG atau Path. Akhirnya jadi males review gitudeh, padahal ini seru dan worth it banget buat diabadikan dalam bentuk tulisan. Asik.

Okaaay, back to H+4 hari lebaran 2015.

Kuliah Semester 1, 2, 3, 4.........

Kuliah.

Entah mengapa ketika mengetik 6 huruf pertama di postingan ini selalu diiringi dengan hembusan nafas panjang dan raut wajah menjadi sendu. Tampaknya sudah cukup mewakili resah dan gundah mahasiswa ya, "Kapan lulus, sih?"

"Kapan lulus, sih?"

"Kapan?"

"Kapaan?"

"Aaaaaaargh!"

Bahkan pertanyaan retoris itu akan semakin sering berputar - putar di otak kita terutama ketika peralihan semester. Ya, lebih tepatnya menjelang pengumuman IP semester. Entah mengapa perasaan jadi lebih campur aduk dari biasanya. Rasanya langsung pingin jadi anak soleh solehah biar ada keajaiban IPnya agak bagusan dikit gitu ya.

Nggak peduli semester berapa pun, tiap menjelang detik - detik  keluarnya IP, meme ini jadi sangat populer:

selamat! selamat! selamat!

Nggak muna, ini juga yang sedang saya rasakan haha. Kompleks banget lah urusan kuliah ini. Benar - benar mampu bikin frustasi, ya. Ada beberapa faktor dan hal privasi yang mungkin nanti akan dibikin postingan khusus, ya, nggak muat kalo dijelasin disini. 

Memang paling deg - deg kalo nunggu IP keluar. Banyak orang bilang, IP bukan segalanya, kok. Tapi ribuan oang yang lain (terutama orang tua, sih) juga tetap pada pendiriannya, IP itu penting, nduk, le! Nah, kemunculan IP di web akademik makasiswa biasanya berbarengan dengan ribuan motivasi - motivasi bijak, baik itu dari diri kita sendiri atau dari lingkungan.

"Okay, semester depan harus lebih baik lagi!"

"Semangat, semester depan yang niat yaa!"

"Ayo fokus semester depan!"

Blah, blah, blah.

Curhat dikit ya, jadi sebentar lagi kan mau semester 4. Alhamdulillah Allah baik banget masih menyelamatkan IP ku dari hal - hal yang tidak diingingkan (?). Akhirnya semseter 4! Setelah melihat daftar mata kuliahnya, kayaknya semester 4 bakal rock n roll. Banget. For the first time ini forever I will take 24 SKS bismillah! There are 9 main subjects and 2 practicum which means I have to be focus. That's the point. My parents also suggest me to not register as a lab assistant, so I can focus increasing my IPK and get the scholarship. Galau banget kan jadinya. Oke, semakin kesini harus berusaha makin bijak untuk memutuskan sendiri. Hmm bismillah. Ini semua demi masa depan yang lebih baik. Anak  baik itu anak yang nurut sama nasihat  orang tua ya nggak. Hahahha apasih.

Ayo yang kuliah semangat semua! Semester baru udah di depan mata! Semangat meski udah lelah denger kata semangat!

Super New Year: 2016

Welcome back!

Akhirnya menemukan waktu senggang untuk menulis di blog. Kaget banget ternyata terakhir kali posting adalah Agustus 2014. Kemana aja, Em, di tahun 2015? Betapa nggak produktif dalam hal blogging. Literally sad.

Hmm, nggak pantes buat alasan, sih, sebenarnya. Hidup itu ada pilihan, ada prioritas. Mungkin dulu aku memilih menulis blog ketika aku ada waktu senggang.Dan berakhir dengan NO POST di tahun 2015. Tetapi sekarang, aku telah memilih meluangkan waktuku untuk MINIMAL BANGET harus 1 kali posting dalam 1 bulan!

Harus!

Well, itu masuk kedalam salah satu resolusi di 2016 haha. Oh iya, udah 2016, ya! Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

Semua orang selalu mengharapkan setiap tahunnya menjadi pribadi yang lebih baik. Seperti kata hadits kan, "Barangsiapa yang lebih baik dari hari kemarin, maka ia tergolong orang yang beruntuk. Brang siapa yang sama saja seperti hari kemarin, maka ia termasuk orang yang merugi. Barang siapa yang lebih buruk dari hari kemarin, maka ia termasuk orang yang celaka."

Okay, jadi gimana resolusi 2016 nya?

Wish 2016 gonna be our SUPER BRAND NEW YEAR!